A city girl born & raised, I awoke at 5 a.m. on my uncle's farm to the audible torture of a domesticated avian creature, undoubtedly dispensing revenge as compensation for his ultimate destination, screaming as only he can every 30 seconds until actual daybreak in cock speak: "WARNING, the decent rising hour of (sophisticated, charming, beautiful, intelligent human beings) is imminent at T minus 4 hours 30 minutes & counting" or maybe "Silly, stupid city girl YOU picked a BAAAD idea for a vacation, haha!"
Thus I arise on the first day of my "vacation" at 5 a.m. & suddenly I'm enjoying it again having smelled the aroma of several of the feathered alarm clock's would-be offspring along with tidbits of nephews & nieces of some grunting, slopping wallowing creatures in pens somewhere nearby, cooking in my aunt's frying pans.
The oft repeated admonishments about revenge not being sweet are flat wrong!
So here I am at 6 am out in the barnyard feeding food to the food of the food's Gods, (me, giggles) & what do I see but the Uncle Piggy and he has big ol' luscious boobies like I'd like expect on poor, distraught Aunt Piggy! And I'm like OMG WTF are they for? I'm talking about the teats on the boar hog, not those of his wifey, which we all know are are food dispensers for the food of the Gods of pigs. (OH MY GOD! I'm like, a..,a Pig God !).
And suddenly it hit me what they are for: I can use them as Buetooth keypads for my Samsung S4 Galaxy because looking at them, bereft of nourishment for little piggies aspiring to make their debut on my breakfast plate, they seem to possess the exact same useful on my phone as they have on Uncle Piggy's chest, Unlike the "Sliding Bluetooth Keyboard with Detachable Case (compatible with Samsung Galaxy S4)" I recently bought.
Because I doubt if Uncle Piggy's boobs will undock, necessitating manually reentering codes to enable it again, every time I step out of range of WiFi or remove it from the cradle. Yes I am certain that Uncle Piggy's blue teeth and boobie pad will work much better than the tiny keys on this keyboard because his boobs are actually larger, not smaller than the keys on my phone to begin with!
Thus I arise on the first day of my "vacation" at 5 a.m. & suddenly I'm enjoying it again having smelled the aroma of several of the feathered alarm clock's would-be offspring along with tidbits of nephews & nieces of some grunting, slopping wallowing creatures in pens somewhere nearby, cooking in my aunt's frying pans.
The oft repeated admonishments about revenge not being sweet are flat wrong!
So here I am at 6 am out in the barnyard feeding food to the food of the food's Gods, (me, giggles) & what do I see but the Uncle Piggy and he has big ol' luscious boobies like I'd like expect on poor, distraught Aunt Piggy! And I'm like OMG WTF are they for? I'm talking about the teats on the boar hog, not those of his wifey, which we all know are are food dispensers for the food of the Gods of pigs. (OH MY GOD! I'm like, a..,a Pig God !).
And suddenly it hit me what they are for: I can use them as Buetooth keypads for my Samsung S4 Galaxy because looking at them, bereft of nourishment for little piggies aspiring to make their debut on my breakfast plate, they seem to possess the exact same useful on my phone as they have on Uncle Piggy's chest, Unlike the "Sliding Bluetooth Keyboard with Detachable Case (compatible with Samsung Galaxy S4)" I recently bought.
Because I doubt if Uncle Piggy's boobs will undock, necessitating manually reentering codes to enable it again, every time I step out of range of WiFi or remove it from the cradle. Yes I am certain that Uncle Piggy's blue teeth and boobie pad will work much better than the tiny keys on this keyboard because his boobs are actually larger, not smaller than the keys on my phone to begin with!
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