My new TFT (Toy for Tarts) is an AR15, which I found out was invented in the late 1950s. The first ones sold to the U.S. Air Force were semi-auto like mine. Mine is an AR15 replica of an M16A1 which was selective fire (gun geek speak for a machine gun).
The M16 is arguably the best. most effective infantry rifle ever produced because the US military and others around the world still use permutations of it (the US military uses the 4th generation, the M16A4 and the carbine version, the M4).
But at the store shopping for my first Tart Toy, all that gen 4 lumpy, bumpy hoo-haw didn't wet my panties (if I'm wearing any) like the long, smooth lines of the M16A1 reproduction.
Up on the wall at the top middle of the AR store wall display was the perfect tart toy: a long, smooth, black AR15 "retro" replica of an M16A1 rifle grabbed my full attention.
But before continuing with that, here's some more mildly interesting "background" about the birth of the M16 back in the early 1960s:
Armalite first produced the M10 7.62 mm caliber that later became the basis for the M14. But the military rejected it because of the weight of the ammunition, soldiers couldn't carry enough, according to Wikipedia.
So along came the AR15 and then soon the M16A1 rifle with its long, hard, black barrel, a perfect match, it seemed to me later, for the LSA lubricant I'd ordered.
Off subject, I'd like to here note that during this time I learned that contrary to ignorant mass media and non-arms bearing citizens "AR" in fact stands for "Armalite Rifle," not "Assault Rifle."
I also found out that Colt produced the first M16s for the US military when out of money, Armalite sold the rights to Colt to manufacture the M16 for the US government. So when it produced its civilian version of the M16, Colt added a "C" to "AR," resulting in a CAR15 semi-auto version.
Nowadays anybody and everybody is producing AR15s for the civilian market and putting their own model #s on the lower receivers, for instance mine is a"TAR-15."
So I plunked down about $1k for my sexy Vietnam War era strap-on (doesn't it have to be that for me if feminists are correct about guns being extensions of men's penises?) & was leery of all the civilian lubricants & cleaners littering the shelves of gun stores.
Fortunately (for an intriguing reason as you'll read further down), I got my rifle and read the manual that came with it, which said to use something called " LSA." I should mention that the "manual" is replicated copy of the booklet issued to military infantry with their M16s in the jungles of Vietnam in 1969.
So I searched & searched on the internet, quite ignorant of the fact that LSA had been replaced long ago in the US military with something much better, CLP, found & bought a half gallon of LSA for $8 plus shipping.The NATO part # for LSA is 0-158. The last U.S. Military # is Mil-L-4600 C.\
The people at the gun store who built my rifle to Vietnam era military specifications for the M16A1 rifle (with the exception of the M16's automatic firing capability) were like "WTF is LSA?" every time I mentioned what I used.
It quickly became apparent to me, I thought, that though this store manufactured and sold all versions of the AR 15 small arms platform, they had no clue about military spec automatic weapons lubricant and had never even read the manual that they put in the box!
At this point, I'll admit, I'd probably had achieved a level of smugness with my "special knowledge" about LSA comparable to a supermodel making $6K a minute in the early 1980s.
So clueless & undaunted , I found some LSA, bought it, used it & discovered some quite interesting unpublished "specs" which I'd like to share.
Note that later I finally consulted guys in the store and have since switched to CLP for my AR, which is much superior to LSA lubricating firearms, but curiously, not nearly as much fun.
The best metaphor I can think of to describe how LSA looks & acts is, (OMFG, ILI, R?), human male sperm. Though admittedly, it may only seem so to me simply because hot sperm happens to be the very biologically produced reproductive fluid & that I'm intimately familiar with.
Indeed, LSA is semen colored & remarkably even has the consistency of male ejaculate when I squirt it on the rifle barrel & rubbed it up the long, black, hard, anodized 20-inch shaft. But even though LSA looks & behaves like semen, I'm guessing it's probably not warm.salty & oyster-like sliding down my throat.
In fact, LSA even behaves on the metal surfaces of the weapon like a load in my face! Alas, curiosity got the better of me & I squirted some on my face while looking in the mirror.
Albiet, It's mildly entertaining to watching LSA slide down the inside walls of the lower receiver, but much lovelier feeling it's biologically produced lookalike in my receiver. I apologize for getting carried away daydreaming.
Back to the subject in hand.
So anyway, I coated the outside of the barrel, stroking the long, hard shaft like the manual says, keeping it ready to shoot.
Needless to say, neither LSA nor the civilian weapons lubricants do absolutely anything for my hair & skin.
Darn it! No LSA perm for me tonight!
In addition, the civilian gun jizz, as well as CLP, unlike LSA, is, well, just mostly boring. But it's specs do say it won't freeze or cake on my thighs in temperatures ranging from from Arctic conditions to desert heat.
I hope this information helps all the gun jizz lovers out there. In fact, the thought just crossed my mind if whether any of the heterosexual soldiers out there have had any hesitation about using LSA that's equal to my enthusiasm for it.
And I can get a bolt and receiver set for my strap-on ( It does have a strap, apparently though for some strange reason they call it a "sling") that allows it to shoot .22 longs. Kinda cool ,I guess, since i found out 50 NATO rounds cost me over $20. It'll shoot .223s, I'm told by the builder, too, but the .233 AR15s can't shoot the 5.56 NATO rounds which usually are cheaper because so many are made.
With a 20 inch barrel, the muzzle velocity of a 5.56mm NATO round is 3100 fps (feet per second).
In fact, for those who don't know, the shorter the barrel, the slower the ejaculated load's muzzle velocity.
At this point, some inexperienced readers may be wondering if the same principle of velocity applies to her/his BF's muzzle.
So, if you're wondering at this point, "does an average-length penis have lower sperm velocity at the tip than, say, than the speed of, say a 10-incher's?"
And what about the trajectory? Literally no one has asked any of this but I'm finding out anyway because being previously experienced with the subject, I'm eager to conduct further detailed research and then to answer my, I mean your pressing questions.
(Later in the month) After weeks of meticulous hands-on testing and documentation, I attest to the conclusive fact that neither the velocity, trajectory nor indeed the volume, of the ejaculate unloaded on/in/up/around the intended target (me) depends upon the length and/or girth of the dispenser, but rather it's hardness.
Nor, during the test period, did the quality of the sperm perms I received.
An AR15 is effective out to 800 yards, according to internet literature, with iron sites and at 300 yards goes through steel helmets like butta, they say.
At 100 yards or less it tumbles when it hits flesh because the ballistic round is heavier in the back and it rips a gawdawful hole through people many times the diameter of the round and the FMJ also fragments into about 6 pieces. At 300-plus yards though, allegedly, it could go straight through the entire squad of "soldiers" lined up that night behind me, taking turns.
And I want to get somebody to teach me out how to tie into a shooting position U.S.M.C Hammer style (but You Can Touch This). My uncle told me about this when I was a little girl but never showed me. I never heard of it again, but my unc never lied to me. It's undoubtedly a technique used by Oswald when he shot Kennedy but I can't find anybody who knows.
Then after all that is done, and I'm capable with it, I'm taking it to a civil rights march in Texas and if anybody starts shooting cops with one while I'm there with mine, I'm going to run, hide and simper like a two year old school girl and do nothing to help the policemen who are dying trying to protect my pretty, but sorry tush.
OK I admit it, I've inserted utterly disgusting filth in this blog. But I swear I have not make any of it up. The fact is that LSA Is A Lot like the literal gallons (I'm expertly guessing, though I've not kept a definitive record) of all the biologically produced LSA-like substances over the years that have been deposited on, in and around me, but only in private settings.
Well mostly private or somewhat private. Or sometimes public settings under the early rising sun. Or in mid or late mid early morning or afternoon. But definitely never at dusk. I would never do that. --(last paragraph has been plagiarized and from an old Steve Martin bit about smoking pot)
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