I'm currently actually a student of Islam, but this is funny and worth repeating.
Subject: BOOM
"Suicide Bombers to go on Strike"
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike
on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to
in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to
produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda
announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive
after his death will be cut by 25% this February, from 72 to only 60.
The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the
number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the
afterlife.
The suicide bomber's union, the British Organization of Occupational
Martyrs (BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable
to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General
Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally
working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for
much in return, and to be treated like this is like a kick in the
teeth." Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, in
which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden
explained, "We sympathize with our workers concerns, but Al Qaeda is
simply not in a position to meet their demands.
They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a
competitive marketplace. "Thanks to Western depravity there is now a
chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice
between reducing expenditure and laying people off. don't like
cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they
won't be able to blow themselves up." Spokespersons for the Union in
the north east of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian
continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations, as
"there are no virgins in their areas anyway."
Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put
down to the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle - now that
Muslims know what an actual virgin looks like they are not so keen on
going to paradise.
Subject: BOOM
"Suicide Bombers to go on Strike"
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike
on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to
in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to
produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda
announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive
after his death will be cut by 25% this February, from 72 to only 60.
The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the
number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the
afterlife.
The suicide bomber's union, the British Organization of Occupational
Martyrs (BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable
to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General
Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally
working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for
much in return, and to be treated like this is like a kick in the
teeth." Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, in
which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden
explained, "We sympathize with our workers concerns, but Al Qaeda is
simply not in a position to meet their demands.
They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a
competitive marketplace. "Thanks to Western depravity there is now a
chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice
between reducing expenditure and laying people off. don't like
cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they
won't be able to blow themselves up." Spokespersons for the Union in
the north east of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian
continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations, as
"there are no virgins in their areas anyway."
Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put
down to the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle - now that
Muslims know what an actual virgin looks like they are not so keen on
going to paradise.
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