Disclaimer: this blog post is about avatars on a internet social game called IMVU. For intelligent discourse, see "elsewhere."
Beautiful Brain Sucking Aliens Are Terrorizing IMVU!
Have you ever noticed the "hey! My head it too small... No wait it's too big!" syndrome that female avatars have? I had the diseased. It is caused by the shoulders of the female avatar being way too wide, plus the curious feeding habit of certain alien creatures retrofitted to blend in with the gorgeous females of the human species. Also, if you look at the stock male avatar, his are just right for an average built, not-very-handsome man. But who cares about them, they have to buy their penises and attach them (AP only). Then when I decide it is time to feed and suck their brains out, they get a big smile on their face and want my phone number, whereas when I suck out the brains of a female, she falls over dead like she's supposed to. I still haven't processed that dichotomy in human behavior, but hey, when it's feeding time it's either one female for lunch or several guys, right! (oh, did I forgot to tell you that I'm a beautiful brain eating alien from a far-away galaxy? I started my club 69 Girlz to lure humans in for nourishment but so far I'm starving to death.) Anyway, the Big Head Syndrome is because they put a manly (more than the male) ass and shoulders on the stock female avatar, so in a bust shot, the head looks okay, but pulled back it looks too big. So then somebody resized the head again for the shoulders, but with camera pulled back it looks freakishly pinheaded. So I had a head with lipsticks made, called the Bobbi head, that's in between the "hey my head is too big...no wait it's too small" size and the "hey, somebody sucked my brains out and now I'm a pinhead" size. Actually, I really do best like eating male brains because they come with nifty built in skin-revitalizing facial cream that spontaneously erupts as the last bit of brains comes out that tiny hole in the top of their head.
Showing posts with label martyr. Show all posts
Showing posts with label martyr. Show all posts
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Some Levity
I'm currently actually a student of Islam, but this is funny and worth repeating.
Subject: BOOM
"Suicide Bombers to go on Strike"
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike
on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to
in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to
produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda
announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive
after his death will be cut by 25% this February, from 72 to only 60.
The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the
number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the
afterlife.
The suicide bomber's union, the British Organization of Occupational
Martyrs (BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable
to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General
Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally
working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for
much in return, and to be treated like this is like a kick in the
teeth." Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, in
which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden
explained, "We sympathize with our workers concerns, but Al Qaeda is
simply not in a position to meet their demands.
They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a
competitive marketplace. "Thanks to Western depravity there is now a
chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice
between reducing expenditure and laying people off. don't like
cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they
won't be able to blow themselves up." Spokespersons for the Union in
the north east of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian
continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations, as
"there are no virgins in their areas anyway."
Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put
down to the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle - now that
Muslims know what an actual virgin looks like they are not so keen on
going to paradise.
Subject: BOOM
"Suicide Bombers to go on Strike"
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike
on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to
in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to
produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda
announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive
after his death will be cut by 25% this February, from 72 to only 60.
The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the
number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the
afterlife.
The suicide bomber's union, the British Organization of Occupational
Martyrs (BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable
to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General
Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally
working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for
much in return, and to be treated like this is like a kick in the
teeth." Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, in
which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden
explained, "We sympathize with our workers concerns, but Al Qaeda is
simply not in a position to meet their demands.
They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a
competitive marketplace. "Thanks to Western depravity there is now a
chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice
between reducing expenditure and laying people off. don't like
cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they
won't be able to blow themselves up." Spokespersons for the Union in
the north east of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian
continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations, as
"there are no virgins in their areas anyway."
Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put
down to the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle - now that
Muslims know what an actual virgin looks like they are not so keen on
going to paradise.
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